STRUGGLE

for the full moon on October 6th, 2025

I’ve struggled with my writing this month, as if I were swimming against a strong current. I resist this unseen force and try in vain to arrive where I think I must go, to create what I’ve always created. Though I’ve dawdled on my blank pages for days, the words have not wanted to appear. If they do, they are awkward and ill-fitting.

I can sense something else wants to come through — something I cannot yet fathom. I feel helpless and unable to make it arrive. While the sunlight shifts across the floor I pace back and forth nervously, as if I were waiting for a child to be born.

At times like this — when I feel restless and heavy with an unknown expectancy — experience tells me that I’m struggling against an old identity. An old self is obstructing the way, and it is determined to keep things the same.